Wednesday 27 January 2010

Has the art of the hand shake gone out of fashion?

Today I read in the Daily Mail that hand shaking was going out of fashion; that 'the young' preferred 'Air kissing'.

Here's the article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1246424/Modern-youngsters-air-kiss-goodbye-handshake-etiquette-faces-killed-off.html

Well, of course the Daily Mail has it's own twist on this (and it is worthwhile reading the readers' comments for added value). And it's worth remembering when we were 'young': did we consider the formal handshake to be, well, rather old fashioned?

However, it is an interesting idea to think about. For 100s of years, we have used the handshake
as a form of greeting. Apparently it was brought to the Western World when Sir Walter Raleigh used it in Elizabeth I's court.

A firm handshake (not a hand crusher) accompanied by eye contact, gives the impression of a confident person engaging with another person. A floppy, or sweaty (yuck) handshake, gives a negative image! The Masons, of course, have their own handshake where they're able to identify and reveal their membership to each other.

As a universally understood greeting, the handshake goes a long way as an acceptable greeting.

If we consider air kissing: and yes, I am partial to this myself; it does have its drawbacks. I never know "Which way the other person is going to kiss first..."; there can be a clashing of noses; a possible snog accident, or plain embarrassment. In addition to this, there is the "How many kisses do we give?" anxiety. I'm not sure how hygienic it is; if you are worried about hygiene when shaking hands, a good antiseptic gel will clear any bugs on your hands, but this won't work when you're breathing in some one's germs.

In December, I ran a workshop at Hertfordshire University, and we practised a good handshake and eye engagement to develop a positive greeting at interviews. The feedback I had from the students was that they felt empowered by a strong handshake, and that they had engaged the other person. Interesting....
Of course, greeting a friend or close acquaintance with an air kiss is friendly, BUT, your boss?? Your client?? Competitor?? For me there is a line between using the handshake and air kiss. The former is for business relationships and people you don't know, and the air kiss for friends; acquaintances and very good business relationships.

My advice is: get it right!!

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