Do you have to be well mannered to get on in business?

Well, it was another interesting Apprentice programme last night wasn't it? There was some jaw dropping behaviour both inside and outside the boardroom. I will discuss this later. What I have also found interesting is a column by Allison Pearson, who compared our Melody to Margaret Thatcher and other high achieving women leaders. Now I personally cannot see any similarity between the two women, other than having a forceful, focused 'verbal' handbag technique. Allison Pearson also argued that people didn't like Melody because she was a b*tch and that these qualities are admired in men but not women.

As edited by the programme - and of course, we can't be totally sure the editing has been completely balanced, Melody is very good at persuading/bulldozing others into agreeing with her. She doesn't listen to other people's advice or views, and even disregarded the chosen panel of tasters, who 'didn't agree' with her ideas. She just latches onto an idea and goes for it. I admire anyone that has the focus and strength of character to fight for what she wants, but surely it is a fatal flaw to disregard other people's opinion, observations and even panel research. I just can't wait to see this woman in the interview stage...

The other person I wish to discuss this week is Zoe, who was just ghastly, to Melody. She's been ghastly to Susan and Natalie in the past. Of course, the venom directed at Melody isn't totally unjustified;  but the personal attacks 'below the belt' to Melody just before an important presentation (were the buyers from Asda able to hear the performance?) was so unprofessional. Talk about shattering the confidence of your team just before an important presentation. Zoe has the ability to fight dirty: real 'girl fight stuff'. One imagines she would have scratched and pulled hair in fights with any girl she disliked at school. I don't know if she resorts to personal attacks when she feels under pressure; she was much better when she wasn't a team leader - but of course this could have been the editing. It was as though she wasn't capable of making a decision, but would lash out at team members rather than take responsibility. You could see her digging a hole as she attacked Melody and then Tom in the board room, and interestingly enough, the person who was the recipient of previous attacks, Susan, wasn't called back into the board room.

I am going to sound like Karren Brady, who hates women behaving in this way, particularly in the board room. Unfortunately, there is a particular type of male (and Daily Mail readers) who consider that all business women are second rate and behave in the way Zoe does. They don't, believe me! However, her behaviour ticks every stereotype of women as leaders, and unfortunately does no women any favours.

I will therefore go to an article I read where ex-Tesco CEO, Terry Leahy recommended that good manners in business was the key to success. Both Melody and Zoe, and also Jim, do not appear to have this characteristic; one because she plays dirty and makes personal attacks, the other two because they are so focused, they will do anything to get where they want, which will include shouting down others; manipulating and not listening. On the other hand Jim was heard saying that Helen was quiet and gentle and he liked her because he coujld get his way. However, one wonders whether he has underestimated her ability to manipulate him!

I am wondering whether people feel that they have to be the loudest; the most aggressive; the most devious in order to be successful in business. I believe you need a focus, determination, energy and charisma. But loud? Your marketing can be loud, but you could be the quietest person but full of energy and charisma!

Has the art of the hand shake gone out of fashion?

Today I read in the Daily Mail that hand shaking was going out of fashion; that 'the young' preferred 'Air kissing'.

Here's the article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1246424/Modern-youngsters-air-kiss-goodbye-handshake-etiquette-faces-killed-off.html

Well, of course the Daily Mail has it's own twist on this (and it is worthwhile reading the readers' comments for added value). And it's worth remembering when we were 'young': did we consider the formal handshake to be, well, rather old fashioned?

However, it is an interesting idea to think about. For 100s of years, we have used the handshake
as a form of greeting. Apparently it was brought to the Western World when Sir Walter Raleigh used it in Elizabeth I's court.

A firm handshake (not a hand crusher) accompanied by eye contact, gives the impression of a confident person engaging with another person. A floppy, or sweaty (yuck) handshake, gives a negative image! The Masons, of course, have their own handshake where they're able to identify and reveal their membership to each other.

As a universally understood greeting, the handshake goes a long way as an acceptable greeting.

If we consider air kissing: and yes, I am partial to this myself; it does have its drawbacks. I never know "Which way the other person is going to kiss first..."; there can be a clashing of noses; a possible snog accident, or plain embarrassment. In addition to this, there is the "How many kisses do we give?" anxiety. I'm not sure how hygienic it is; if you are worried about hygiene when shaking hands, a good antiseptic gel will clear any bugs on your hands, but this won't work when you're breathing in some one's germs.

In December, I ran a workshop at Hertfordshire University, and we practised a good handshake and eye engagement to develop a positive greeting at interviews. The feedback I had from the students was that they felt empowered by a strong handshake, and that they had engaged the other person. Interesting....
Of course, greeting a friend or close acquaintance with an air kiss is friendly, BUT, your boss?? Your client?? Competitor?? For me there is a line between using the handshake and air kiss. The former is for business relationships and people you don't know, and the air kiss for friends; acquaintances and very good business relationships.

My advice is: get it right!!

Let's be pleasant to everyone - a New Year's Resolution

You possibly don't know that I am addicted to certain 'Reality Shows'; not the down market Big Brother rubbish, but the Strictly Come Dancing/The Restaurant/I'd do Anything/Last Choir Standing/The Apprentice type - and whilst grimacing at the singing: X Factor. I have just discovered the latest offering by Andrew Lloyd Webber to find a singer to perform at the Eurovision Song Contest later this year.
As anyone familiar with Eurovision in recent years knows: it has been impossible for any UK entry to score points in double figures yet alone win the competition. This has, in part, been due to block voting by neighbouring countries: ex-Russian satellite states awarding Russian maximum points; ditto for Balkan nations and even the Scandinavians ganging together.
Terry Wogan's camp commentary of the event became more frustrated each year, and last year he threw a hissy fit. He has since resigned. Other countries - particularly in Eastern Europe, have accused of UK not taking the competition seriously...
Now - enter stage left, ALW; the world famous musical theatre composer of great musicals including Cats, Jesus Christ Superstar and Evita. He is known and respected throughout the world and his musicals have been performed throughout Europe. He's frustrated that UK underachieve at Eurovision. Instead of grumbling about block voting he has another game plan; he's going to be 'Nice' to everyone. Once the singer or singers have been chosen and he has written the song, he's going to visit Eastern European countries with the artiste and be friendly/pleasant and introduce the music. UK probably won't win, but you can bet that:
1. Other countries will warm to the sentiment of being pleasant rather than whingy/standoffish.
2. Other countries that take the competition seriously will recognise that UK are wanting to take it seriously too.
3. Hopefully other countries will like the song, having been introduced to it before the competition and VOTE for UK (and not just one point).
4. It will restore some good will between UK and other parts of Europe.
5. Hopefully it will prevent any gas blockades by Russia to UK.

ALW is being very clever; he isn't being arrogant or confrontational; rather he is being pleasant, empathising with other nations and just, well, trying to encourage people to like him and his music.

My message to you all is: why not have a resolution to be pleasant to people this year. Have a smile on your face - which always makes your voice sound better anyway; be polite to people; hold doors open; say thank you etc.... In these challenging economic times this is something that is free and can lead to very positive outcomes.

Thank you for reading this!