Merry Christmas to you all!

A Merry Christmas to you all - and also a Creative, brave, productive and successful 2009. Remember that if you believe in a vision or want to believe in magic, you will receive what you want. (As seen to the right!)
With my very best wishes
Susan

Mind where you post an opinion

This week I did something that I've never done before: I posted a message on an online forum. This was in response to Austin being voted off Strictly Come Dancing. My son was distraught at this, and I started a new message stating this. I was astonished at the vitriol that some posters directed at my quite innocent comment. It seemed that for some posters, hiding behind a forum name, making personal attacks on myself and my son were perfectly acceptable, yet these comments were in the public domain. Fortunately I also had a pseudonym to avoid identification, but the hate directed at me by a minority was an eye opener. I should mention that the majority of posts were telling the minority to 'back off'.

Now I have learnt from this: I won't be posting another such message! But it made me think of how we communicate on line, and whether hiding behind a screen (whether it be via email or a forum) results in some people forgetting basic manners and communication styles that are unacceptable in other environments.

I remember receiving an astonishing email from a colleague when I was doing some singing teaching: he would never have spoken to me in that way, yet I had this crazy email. Perhaps as it was written I wasn't able to detect the nuance of what he was saying - although it was pretty blunt to me.

I also received an email from a Women's organisation, asking me to contribute to their website, to promote women's entrepreneurship. I had never met "Sophie" yet she copied me, and 100 other entrepreneurs into the same email, which had very girlie, friendly copy, signing herself 'love and kisses Sophiexx' - and demanding I spent 2 hours writing up something to promote her project. I am sure what she does is valuable, but her presentation, familiarity and style - to ask a stranger to volunteer time, did not engage me to assist her. In fact it did the opposite and I didn't want to be associated with her project.

My message today is to really consider how you use emails - and forums when communicating with others; whether they are good friends or strangers. Consider the best way of communicating which is respectful of the other person - particularly if they are a stranger.

The Power of the contract or confirmation letter

In the last few weeks I have had two situations where there have been misunderstandings resulting from a lack of communication. Neither have been a disaster - no blood was shed - but stress, frustration and time wasted would have been avoided.

I shall reveal more; the first was a lovely wedding on Saturday, when some of my talented musicians were performing as a string quartet. The contract I drew up said "Black Tie". The wedding planner didn't clarify this; the musicians wear "Afternoon Black tie - i.e. the ladies wear short black dresses in the afternoon for concert engagements"..... The Wedding Planner was disappointed. It goes round in circles. As I mentioned, it was not a disaster, and one might deduce the Wedding Planner was being rather picky. We have, however, agreed that in future, she needs to be very specific and the string quartet will also ask the question "Short or Long".

In the other situation, I was delivering a team building event, via an Event Management Company for a trainer. She didn't want the client or I to speak directly before the event. I do understand this; there is an element of trust in providing contact details because occasionally an unscrupulous person might 'take' the contact from you for future work - not me though! However, this meant that the client's expectation of the event and my brief didn't match.

This included an expectation that I was producing a studio quality DVD of the activity, to the length of the activity. Of course, I didn't want to create conflict (yes, I am adverse to this), however, I didn't want to have to deliver something that wasn't planned - and something I wasn't being paid to do. We also want to deliver a service that is outstanding, and one that is even higher than the expectation of the client!

My assistant, the wonderful Gary and I worked really hard and totally changed our planning for the session. In the end they wanted TWO DVDs... Not having the backing of the Event Management Company, I wasn't able to say "There is an additional charge for this"... However, every situation is a learning opportunity. We now all realise that:

1. A contract is valuable and is more likely to create repeat business because the agreed activity/service is delivered.

2. To specify exactly what is expected for the fee, and what additional charges there are for (e.g.) DVDs, recordings, debrief reports etc.

3. It is okay to put a clause in a contract to the team building company, stating you can't tout your own business. It is also okay to trust the supplier!

4. If the supplier and client speak before hand, the event is going to be more successful; the supplier is likely to be a specialist and can advise; the event manager is often a 'sales person'.

In my case, a 2 1/2 hour team building event - that has taken two days with preparation and the wretched DVDs that I've had to edit, master, copy etc. will be avoided in future - or at least I will be paid extra for this additional work. Otherwise, I won't accept the work.

Apologies: I'm sounding very stroppy and this isn't intended to be a rant - but I just want others to avoid any problems!