Calm down dear: just listen

Oh dear: the swarve Vincent had his red card (or the finger) on Wednesday and his downfall wasn't his ability to engage with people (well Jim) but his inability to engage with female team members. How many times did he dismiss his female team mates' suggestions - or even physically remove telephones from their hands to complete a call?
Engagement isn't just about speaking, but it is also listening. Engagement is a two way process: one that  involves NOT JUST speaking, but listening. A good leader has the ability to do this, and something that I hope Vincent goes away with and contemplates.
I was concerned that he seemed to dismiss the women's contributions to the team efforts. Despite Natalie's good advert, this was not acknowledged - and I can only consider that this was due to a blind spot with women. Misogyny has no place in business, and through misjudging the contribution of a section of a team, it weakens your position.

So Vincent: next time you select a team, or work with an existing team, judge individuals' talents based on their ability not their gender.

The Art of Bragging - Adopt The Apprentice style

As you know, I am a great fan of The Apprentice: it is great entertainment, and I spend a great deal of the programme laughing and cringing. I know that the contestants are exhausted and stressed, and that the programmes are very cleverly edited, however, some of the contestants' comments are risible! Of course it takes a particular person to even apply for such a show. I came across the link below, from the BBC, which highlights the communication style of some of the contestants.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13338023

Of course it is difficult to judge how much to 'brag' - particularly when you are in a contest with other people. There has to be an element of self promotion within any business situation. Whilst we could ask for referrals, there is nothing like 'selling ourselves' or our services. BUT, as seen on The Apprentice, there is a balance, and showing off, or making ridiculous comments, only backfire.

Marketing of celebrities and musicians, is a particularly dangerous area; I am sure I am more cynical because I know an awful lot about this industry, but claims of "The world's best voice", "The most beautiful voice in the world", "You are another Nina Simone - that good", "The best singer song writer the world has ever seen". The problem with these comments are that a creative PR company or X Factor judge has put out a comment about their client. Before we know it, this is quoted as true for that artiste. The artiste has a long way to fall, and in some cases starts to believe the hype.

TV companies that are wanting to publicise an underperforming show "The popular show", "The rating winning show", "The cutting edge, cult show" - even though these programmes have 10% viewing on prime time TV and their viewing numbers are beaten by repeat daytime shows.

Another comment I've recently read "Possibly the best ********** winner we've ever had". - either he is the best or he isn't.

I wonder if individuals are mixing a dream or vision with reality. It is perfectly okay to dream that you are going to set up and run a business, with ultimately a £1M annual turnover. But to say "I'm running a global organisation with a £1M turnover", when you are in startup and the only part of your global empire is your website.

So my tip is: self promote - yes, but always be able to back up what you say with evidence!!!

Good luck.

Where did you get that hat?

The Apprentice on BBC1, continued to entertain last night with another jaw dropping edition. Of course we have to acknowledge the editors in picking the most amusing scenes from many hours of film. However, from a communication perspective, there are a number of priceless scenes!

• A contestant cold calling a rival hotel's procurement (The Ritz) to ask for a copy of their suppliers' list. Karren's face was a picture. The contestant had no idea about building up a business relationship based on trust: let's face it a cold call: asking for The Ritz's invaluable resource that they'd built up over a number of years. Dur!
• The cloche saga; they didn't even know how to pronounce it, let alone know what it was. Yes: there are cloches that are used for gardening, but surely they could work out that a hotel wouldn't need 'garden' cloches.
• The upward negotiation gag; one contestant started with a low price: each time she negotiated with the vendor, she quoted a higher price. I thought negotiation involved trying to get the lowest price: not the highest!
• The lurking presence of a moustached man, whenever a female was on the phone; he barked orders, so she was having two conversations: with the company and him. He even grabbed the phone, mid-conversation, to complete a call. What a negative advert for anyone that was considering working with him.
• The total lack of time spent assessing the nature of the business; those posh, Mayfair shops are quite intimidating at the best of time: unless you are a young successful business person apparently. They just marched into these shops, expecting to negotiate a 'deal' with a huge sense of entitlement. 'They wouldn't even knock 1p off the price" said one contestant. Why do they have to? The King of Tonga pays full price: if the BBC broadcast a company giving even 1p off, their client base would all be on the phone asking for a refund! I presume no prices were displayed; don't they know the saying that if you need to know the price, you can't afford it?
• The hilarious "I have a very important client" comment by Susan, topped by the vendor's "What's that to me". The apprentices made the mistake of believing that they could get anything for the price they wanted. They had a total sense of entitlement and a disregard for the vendor's costs and overheads. 
• The genuine shock and horror faces, when prices were quoted. OMG was said more than once. My husband told me that you try not to give anything away with your body language and what you say, because it weakens your position with negotiating. Has anyone told Susan that?
• Listening; it appeared that they weren't listening to the vendors but just waiting to quote another price. How not to create rapport in one easy lesson.

If we contrast with the wonderful Irish charmer with the sad eyes. He engaged the vendors, and developed a fast rapport. In the butchers, he managed to get another £10 off and a hug from another vendor. His manner was open, friendly and not arrogant.

I am sure they are very tired (they always get up really early and people have told me they are exhausted), BUT why are these basic mistakes made by, well, some of the most successful young business people in the country. Ha! 

The Apprentice Braggers

I am a great fan of The Apprentice, and certainly I will be blogging and podcasting about this entertaining show in the next few weeks. Yes; I say entertaining, because with good editing and casting, the BBC are able to create a show rather than a basic business programme.

I am always astonished by the 'bragging': the mission statements and straplines some of the contestants utter. I know they will have been interviewed for hours and the producer cleverly picks one off the cuff remark. Perhaps I was brought up to be modest, and this is, of course, in a contest, a problem, but some of the statements from contestants is...well....

One of the most memorable comments is from a female who has been 'taught' by The Dalai Lama and Al Gore and has worked on projects with 12 Nobel Peace Prize winners. And how old is she? I'd love to know which school she went to. Perhaps the truth is slightly embroidered; reading books 'teaches' you about a person's values and thoughts. The trouble is that over inflated boasts often put you into a weak position, since others start to joke about you. It is the case of the shepherd boy who cries 'Wolf' one too many times: no one takes you seriously so when you are truthful, you've already lost their trust.

I know we all have to blow our trumpet, and for individuals that are quieter and more modest by nature, this is more of a challenge, but their needs to be a reality check and a balance. My challenge to you, is to start boasting, and when a trusted colleague or friend starts squealing, or accuses you of arrogance, you will know how far is acceptable!!

Humour at a time of tragedy

We appear to be going through a time of tragedy; particularly with the dreadful devastation in Japan. The following article on the BBC website, argues about jokes after a tragedy.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12775389

As someone that has been a singer at the Association of Funeral Directors' dinner, I can confirm that their humour is 'black'. No doubt this is a coping mechanism for their industry. Likewise I understand that people during the darkest moments of the Second World War used black humour to 'lighten' a situation.

However, we now live in a world where what we say, and more importantly, what others say, is broadcast quickly through the internet. What we might think of as 'black humour' might be deeply offensive and hurtful to someone suffering - and reading a 'tweet' or status update on Facebook. Since you are not in front of that person; they can't hear the nuance of your voice or see your body language, they only have the words to read.

We also live in a world where certain 'comedians' (I use that term very loosely), will say anything and argue that it is 'ironic' or 'challenging contemporary thought' - when in fact it is NOT funny, and audiences are laughing in horror and embarrassment. The trouble with these comedians is that what they say is picked up by the media, making the statement more exposed to everyone - causing more offense. It also raises the profile of the 'comedian' concerned.

So here are my tips for using humour at a time of tragedy:

1. Know your audience; if you are going to use a current topic as a source of humour, check who your audience will be. If it is a family member or close friend and you know their humour, that could be okay. If, you decide to joke about Japan and it is a Japanese audience, it really is not going to be funny. If in doubt, don't say it.
2. Decide on a reasonable time after the tragic event before you make the joke or comment. Immediately after a tragedy, when people are in shock, is not a good time.
3. If you have children who are repeating jokes heard in the playground, try to explain to them about the tragedy (without scaring them) but also to be aware who it is appropriate to repeat those jokes to.
4. If you are a social media fan: Facebook and Twitter, be aware that your humour can be re-tweeted and transmitted throughout the world. Not everyone might have the same humour as you; some might find it offensive and will label you. Using humour on a company account or yours - if it is for personal branding, is dangerous, so use with care.
5. Decide whether or not the joke is actually funny; as I mentioned before, some statements aren't. Repeating them wins no brownie points but labels you as being an idiot.
6. If in any doubt, don't repeat the joke.

The Strength of Speech in the face of disaster

With  the dreadful news from Japan over the last few weeks, it came as no surprise to me that the Emperor of Japan decided to address his subjects.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/8385868/Japan-earthquake-Emperor-Akihitos-exceptional-speech.html

Emperor Akihitos, as is tradition, never addresses his subjects and as a result, Japanese people had never heard his voice until this address. When we consider how interested everyone was in Kate Middleton's voice when she spoke at her engagement interview, one can only imagine what a positive impact this had on the Japanese people's morale. Hearing a human voice; particularly that of a leader, is a very powerful emotional experience. The emperor was able to connect on a very personal level with his subjects.

So, do you have a voice that connects with others? Does your voice make an impact when you address others in meetings; on the telephone; or presentations? How might your voice make a difference to those around you. These are questions we all need to consider, just as Emperor Akihitos did.

Personal Branding Inside and Out 6th April 2011

I am delighted to have been invited to be involved in this fabulous workshop, which features Malcolm Levene: an eminent leader in developing individuals' personal brands and Jorgen Sundberg, who is an expert on personal branding with a particular knowledge in online marketing.

http://personalbrandinginsideoutmarch.eventbrite.com/

This workshop is ideal for middle to senior management individuals who wish to improve their personal profile/branding within an organisation, and also to be aware that they are promoting their company or organisation when interacting with others. The course is also ideal for successful entrepreneurs who are wishing to improve their personal branding.

I will be delivering a session during the day on how the voice and body language makes an impact on your image and brand.

I would be delighted to discuss the course to anyone: do call me on 0844 576 3015 or email susan@executivevoice.co.uk