“I can take their hearts, I can take their minds,” The Apprentice

“I can take their hearts, I can take their minds,” he dreamed. Now I apologise for blogging late on this particular episode of The Apprentice, but I had been so mesmerised by Jim's mellifluous tones that I was charmed into thinking he liked me; not that he wanted me to do his thing.

Ah! Of course we know that he told the TV viewers that he had a game plan for manipulating his team into being submissive and if the going got tough, then he'd stick the boot in. As he showed in the board room. As Karren kindly summarised "You have a passive aggressive personality". Anyone that has had a boss like this - or a friend for that matter, knows the outcome is heartbreaking. I am sure Jim's team will also be more wary of his games now.

Yes: this bloke does get everyone to work together, and he makes everyone feel valued. He does the eye contact; open body language - even mimicking body language to develop rapport very, very well. Even the frosty Zoe fell for Jim's charms and was dancing to his tune. 

Yet when the evaluation of the task, in the boardroom, took place, he was first to devalue other's contribution, lying and scraping to save his place. We have all worked with or for people that behave like this. How do they gain promotion? How are they so effective? Perhaps they don't make the progress they like; perhaps the reality is that they aren't telling the truth with future plans and opportunities. I worked with a tenor who was exactly this; terribly destructive to colleagues when the going got tough. Slowly we all unravelled the considerable web of deceit, which took a while to recover from.

If you are in work, it is good to have a mentor or someone that you can trust who might not be in your department. Someone that has one step away from the action but might know the characters. A mentor is invaluable for noticing games and situations that are occurring to warn you, and also to provide advice if the going gets tough.

Jim is, of course TV gold and we are waiting for a withering look from Margaret in the interview session!

The mouse that roared!

How on earth do you get heard when you are in a group of vocal, overconfident, loud fellow contestants?Edna (who was eliminated from The Apprentice last night) said on the TV this morning, that one of the keys to being successful in this format, was to be heard and noticed. Obviously, clever editing prevents us being totally aware of candidate's success, but I was particularly struck by the struggles Susan (my name sake) has been having with other contestants.

There is no doubt that Susan is a clever lady and has a sound grasp of business principles. But for some reason, other candidates are ignoring her, or being unreasonably rude  (Zoe I mean you). Why is she failing to be taken seriously? She does have the disadvantage of being the youngest candidate, and she looks very young. Her voice is very high: there is a lot of evidence to show that higher pitched voices are more difficult to listen to. She is petite in stature and is not yet able to make an impact with her physical presence. Her body language tends to be 'deferential': particularly when aggressive candidates are speaking to her. I do believe that Susan's cultural background also plays a role in her ability to come across: Chinese women are expected to be deferential; they speak quietly and with a high pitch. Susan also does not have the confidence and is in awe (I don't know why) of some of the more experienced candidates. 

So what would I suggest Susan does to be a more successful communicator and for others to take notice of her:  

• Think before she speaks; she is very enthusiastic and desperate to please like a child, but this doesn't go down well.
• Speak in a lower pitch. Not only will it make her appear older, she will be more audible.
• Slow down her speech so it is easier for people to listen to her.
• Speak louder, so that others can hear her.
• Be more forceful when she speaks; she won't come across as aggressive (there are others that are capable of that)
• Stand up straight; head up and confident.
• Don't cower when others shout at her.
• Try not to whinge.

I actually think Susan is a great candidate. She needs to overcome these obstacles to start shining. Lord Sugar has flagged up these challenges for her, and no doubt she has the strength of character to take his comments on board.

How to lie without showing it in your body language

My family used to have 'animated' debates with my grandmother over "white lies" - fibs that might prevent someone being offended, and telling the truth. Being a die hard Lancastrian, she believed that telling the truth - or what Southerners would say "being blunt", was more honest. The fact that we had to tell a white lie over her cooking "Oh this is delicious", so as not to offend her, didn't cross her mind!

People DO lie: stinking porkies, white lies or fibs. In business it is very useful to learn how to detect a lie, and also be aware of what you do when you're fibbing. I came across the following article, which could be of use when meeting clients! It gives some self awareness of the types of signals we give to other people when we're fibbing. Of course, when you KNOW what you do, it is easier to disguise this.
Here's the article. Good luck!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/7324032/How-to-lie-and-not-look-as-though-you-are-lying.html

More information from http://www.executivevoice.co.uk

Coping with Drinks parties when you're tall

A client asked me how to stand at parties and network meetings. He is very tall, and felt he had to lean over shorter people to be heard and be friendly. He even stood with his feet very wide apart, which looked odd, but was also uncomfortable.

When you lean over, it can be intimidating for others. It affects the quality of your speaking voice and alters your positive, professional body language. Unless the person is in a wheel chair, or is forced to sit down, I believe there has to be compromise on both sides. I recommend you both stand a little further apart. Then the shorter person isn't straining their neck looking upwards, and the taller person isn't compromising their voice or body language.