Monday, 30 March 2009

Giving praise that makes an impact

I have been watching the 'Sissinghurst' programme on BBC4. It is a documentary where the 'Donor Family' are trying to encourage the National Trust to adopt some new projects at Sissinghurst including growing more produce to use in the cafe kitchens.
I am aware that editing could produce a biased view on personalities and situations; there are some editorial minxes in the business! BUT there were a number of issues that resulted from poor communication on both the side of the Nicolsons (Vita Sackville West's Grandson Adam, and his wife the gardener Sarah Raven) and the National Trust.
I will have to produce a number of blogs on this topic, because there is SO much to say! I am going to focus on one incident today, that couldn't possibly have been edited.
This involves Ms Raven and the chef at the restaurant, Steve. They clearly don't get on! Sarah had been brought in by the NT as a food consultant and through her own particular 'style' of consulting, managed to put every one's back up. (As I mentioned, this will be covered in another blog).
Finally, after a number of painful months, Sarah ate in the restaurant and liked the food. She marched round to the kitchen where Steve was eating his lunch after his shift. Steve had recreated one of Sarah's recipes. Ms Raven said that it was good and tasty, BUT that it needed more nutmeg. Steve, I feel behaved impeccably - particularly given that he was starving after a long shift and wanted to eat his lunch.
However, SR did not once engage Steve: she did not have any eye contact with him and appeared to be 'praising' her recipe rather than his cooking abilities. She also didn't once look at him; it was as though it was begrudging praise. She then said "It was good" with her back to Steve as she flounced out. I would have done a '2 finger salute' at her, had I been Steve, and no doubt it did nothing to build up morale and bridges.
So how would I have delivered praise differently:
  • Realise that whilst a chef was eating his lunch, it might not be the best time to chat. Ask him if it was a good time to chat.
  • Rather than stand above him - as though he was a subordinate or naughty boy, I would sit down, to be on the same level.
  • I would maintain eye contact.
  • Be sincere, praising him and his team "Well Done" "Excellent".
  • Encourage him to contribute to any criticism and for his views to be valued.
  • Mention my own particular taste for more nutmeg "It could have tasted even better if there was more nutmeg"
  • Praise again and refer to how far the project has moved forward.
  • Maintain eye contact before leaving.

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