Engaging people when you speak to them

At the weekend I had something horrifying happen to me. My husband had told me he needed to leave the house to go to Heathrow to wave off his relatives,who were returning to Australia.
Unfortunately I didn't 'hear' this when he told me, and I was swimming. He was forced to leave late - taking our son too. The consequence was that he missed seeing them.
I felt dreadful about this, but it also enabled me to really consider why this method of communication went so wrong. Although my husband had spoken to me (I don't doubt him), he has a tendency to 'talk at' people. The problem with this is that he assumes you have heard without checking that you are 'engaged' in the conversation. He doesn't register whether or not I am listening. This is also a problem with colleagues at work.
In order that a conversation is two way - speaker and listener, we need to have a check list. This could be.

• Asking - "Is this a good time to speak?"
• Watching - is the body language mirroring yours or at least indicating they are taking note of you. (Clues could be eye contact; moving their body to face yours).
• Stopping activities; check the listener has stopped what they were doing. So if they were watching the television; cooking; on a computer, that their attention is now focused on you and what you have to say.
• Check that they have understood what you have said.
• As a precaution, repeat what you say the next day.

For more advice please go to http://www.executivevoice.co.uk