Reading other people

We had a tremendous time at the Fielder Centre, Hatfield for the 'Make an Impact with Your Voice' workshop. The delegates discovered new aspects of their vocal and communication styles and how they could be more effective in a variety of business situations.

There were a number of very interesting discussions, but I am going to share one with you. A highly successful academic shared her frustration in communicating with an external member of her staff. The woman concerned closed her eyes, moved her head around and generally didn't connect with the academic. The workshop participants all interpreted this behaviour in different ways - was she nervous, disinterested, self absorbed,arrogant, vain, shy??

The academic - who interpreted the external staff member in the same way as me, was, understandably finding it difficult to have an engaging conversation with her. Obviously when you are speaking with someone that has profound mannerisms, you are going to react to these - and not necessarily in a positive way. We remember previous instances and people that have these mannerisms and if we are not careful, we can fall into the pattern of reacting to these memories.

Our aim is to be as an effective communicator as possible. Occasionally that is a real challenge, but in these situations, it is worthwhile taking a mental step backwards, neutralise the memories to say it is a new situation, and start again! We are as responsible for communication not working as much as the person we speak to, and if we can be open and friendly, the chances are that the conversation will be more successful.

Of course, there are going to be people we don't get on with, or who are impossible to communicate with - but let's try to give them the benefit of the doubt until you have tried a number of styles!

Three Counties Radio Broadcast

In case you missed Executive Voice's appearance on Three Counties Radio with the wonderful Lorna Milton, here is the link. It will only be up until Sunday 19th October.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/three.shtml

The experience was very positive and I will discuss working in a studio environment in a future blog. The constraints were not being able to move very far (6") from the microphone. I normally demonstrate by standing beside a client, but this wasn't possible. Lorna and Kelly were absolutely charming, and I hope to be invited in again (they did invite me!)

Hear Executive Voice on Three Counties Radio

I am appearing on Three Counties Radio on Monday 13th October - from 2pm until 2.20pm. The format will be that Lorna Milton, the presenter will interview me about my experience as a vocal and communications coach. There will then be an opportunity for listeners to call with specific queries regarding public speaking, speaking on the telephone, interviews etc.

I am really looking forward to the opportunity to explain what I do. If you have any questions - do let me know!

I will try to get a sound sample of the interview to put on here!

How do you say it?

Earlier this week I attended a charity evening "shop" at a mid-market ladies dress shop. It was a very pleasant evening with champagne, canapes, treatments from some charming girls, goodie bags and an opportunity to purchase at a 10% discount! I planned to buy some of my winter wardrobe there.
I was just looking at some dresses on a rail when a shop assistant barked at me "Move, I have a customer with me!" Somewhat stunned, I realised that she was actually speaking to me: a potential customer... I would have been horrified if one of my team, representing my company had spoken to anyone like that, and needless to say I left the evening very soon after, having not bought anything.
Yesterday I went to the Royal Albert Hall to see a concert. Unfortunately the lighting had been set so that our whole section had a blue or white light shining directly into our eyes. We all spent most of the first half covering our eyes, and needless to say, we could hardly see when the lights went up. I decided to find the front of house manager, to let him know of the situation and to request that new seats could be found. I was courteous, and he responded by being most helpful; he found us outstanding seats in the upper stalls, and arranged for everyone that wasn't in our party to also be re-seated. I left feeling very positive about the outcome and the service that the RAH provided.
The way we address people affects the outcome; I have no further plans to visit the dress shop again because I was treated appallingly, yet I will return to the RAH very soon. I am sure my request for seats would have been treated less positively had I approached the situation differently; front of house managers can find limited view seats when required...
When addressing strangers - in particular, it is a thought worth bearing in mind...

Last week I attended the most amazing concert at the BBC Proms. It was the Berlin Philharmonic orchestra: a world leader in orchestral terms, with Sir Simon Rattle conducting. What was so astonishing was the energy and commitment from very member of the orchestra. Despite any rivalry, egos or personal ambition, they worked as the ultimate team to produce sublime music.
Rattle led them in an impressive way; this was someone only using body language to communicate 100 people. Obviously they had practised the piece a number of times, and Rattle had been able to verbally communicate his intensions during the rehearsals, but changes in venue, the television lighting etc could have put the orchestra off..
Thinking about the whole process of performing: what made this performance - or outcome outstanding was a combination of world class musicians, preparation (rehearsal and Rattle knowing the piece, from memory, inside out) communication and a commitment to the outcome.
The target or outcome they had as a team was the performance; they were all committed to this, and also to maintaining their reputation.
What can we learn from this: create a clear target for your team; create ownership for the whole team; communicate your intentions; set a time scale and be properly prepared - with rehearsals (or the equivalent) if necessary.
If the Berlin Philharmonic can achieve outstanding results - so can you!

Earlier this week, my husband and I watched Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential candidate on television. She's one 'tough cookie' as my American cousins would no doubt say. She came across very positively, but there were two aspects of her delivery that, in my opinion, let me down. I'm being picky here because the current president is no master of delivery, but that's another story.

My husband shouted at the TV "She's squeaky; she's high!" When she spoke, her voice became higher pitched and squawky as she became more passionate. It then becomes more difficult to listen to. Men are not able to hear high pitched noises and voices clearly and will switch off. Anyone that has experienced a baby crying at night, and your husband does not awake knows exactly what I mean. If Ms Palin wants to deliver a powerful speech, she needs to address this, so that EVERYONE can hear her message.

The other point I noted was that her diction wasn't too hot. There are a variety of accents in the States, but I found it quite difficult comprehending and picking up everything she was saying.

Women in high profile positions do have to work harder at their presentation skills. Margaret Thatcher and Baroness Boothroyd, who had to deliver plenty of public speeches both consciously dropped their voices to a lower pitch, to make them more audible and an easier tone to listen to. Women have a tendency (myself included) to make their voices higher, and therefore screechy, when they are angry or getting more passionate about a topic. We therefore have to work hard to avoid this, to ensure our messages get across to the whole audience.

Perhaps Ms Palin needs some vocal coaching. Do give her my number.

Introductions

Welcome to the blog of Executive Voice - Vocal and Communications Training. This blog is dedicated to making the most of your speaking voice and body language: what a positive impact it can make in the workplace and in your general life.

I am sure you know someone who is brilliant at what they do, but doesn't present themselves in the best way possible. Throughout my life I've met people that are real stars, but fail to make the grade because they can't communicate their star quality. On the flip side, I'm sure you have also met people that you can't understand HOW they have been so successful - yet they have been brilliant at communicating.

I will be adding postings regularly, when I see, hear and experience good - and poor communication styles and trying to work out what works!

If you have any comments, do post them.

Susan