Merry Christmas to you all!

A Merry Christmas to you all - and also a Creative, brave, productive and successful 2009. Remember that if you believe in a vision or want to believe in magic, you will receive what you want. (As seen to the right!)
With my very best wishes
Susan

Mind where you post an opinion

This week I did something that I've never done before: I posted a message on an online forum. This was in response to Austin being voted off Strictly Come Dancing. My son was distraught at this, and I started a new message stating this. I was astonished at the vitriol that some posters directed at my quite innocent comment. It seemed that for some posters, hiding behind a forum name, making personal attacks on myself and my son were perfectly acceptable, yet these comments were in the public domain. Fortunately I also had a pseudonym to avoid identification, but the hate directed at me by a minority was an eye opener. I should mention that the majority of posts were telling the minority to 'back off'.

Now I have learnt from this: I won't be posting another such message! But it made me think of how we communicate on line, and whether hiding behind a screen (whether it be via email or a forum) results in some people forgetting basic manners and communication styles that are unacceptable in other environments.

I remember receiving an astonishing email from a colleague when I was doing some singing teaching: he would never have spoken to me in that way, yet I had this crazy email. Perhaps as it was written I wasn't able to detect the nuance of what he was saying - although it was pretty blunt to me.

I also received an email from a Women's organisation, asking me to contribute to their website, to promote women's entrepreneurship. I had never met "Sophie" yet she copied me, and 100 other entrepreneurs into the same email, which had very girlie, friendly copy, signing herself 'love and kisses Sophiexx' - and demanding I spent 2 hours writing up something to promote her project. I am sure what she does is valuable, but her presentation, familiarity and style - to ask a stranger to volunteer time, did not engage me to assist her. In fact it did the opposite and I didn't want to be associated with her project.

My message today is to really consider how you use emails - and forums when communicating with others; whether they are good friends or strangers. Consider the best way of communicating which is respectful of the other person - particularly if they are a stranger.

The Power of the contract or confirmation letter

In the last few weeks I have had two situations where there have been misunderstandings resulting from a lack of communication. Neither have been a disaster - no blood was shed - but stress, frustration and time wasted would have been avoided.

I shall reveal more; the first was a lovely wedding on Saturday, when some of my talented musicians were performing as a string quartet. The contract I drew up said "Black Tie". The wedding planner didn't clarify this; the musicians wear "Afternoon Black tie - i.e. the ladies wear short black dresses in the afternoon for concert engagements"..... The Wedding Planner was disappointed. It goes round in circles. As I mentioned, it was not a disaster, and one might deduce the Wedding Planner was being rather picky. We have, however, agreed that in future, she needs to be very specific and the string quartet will also ask the question "Short or Long".

In the other situation, I was delivering a team building event, via an Event Management Company for a trainer. She didn't want the client or I to speak directly before the event. I do understand this; there is an element of trust in providing contact details because occasionally an unscrupulous person might 'take' the contact from you for future work - not me though! However, this meant that the client's expectation of the event and my brief didn't match.

This included an expectation that I was producing a studio quality DVD of the activity, to the length of the activity. Of course, I didn't want to create conflict (yes, I am adverse to this), however, I didn't want to have to deliver something that wasn't planned - and something I wasn't being paid to do. We also want to deliver a service that is outstanding, and one that is even higher than the expectation of the client!

My assistant, the wonderful Gary and I worked really hard and totally changed our planning for the session. In the end they wanted TWO DVDs... Not having the backing of the Event Management Company, I wasn't able to say "There is an additional charge for this"... However, every situation is a learning opportunity. We now all realise that:

1. A contract is valuable and is more likely to create repeat business because the agreed activity/service is delivered.

2. To specify exactly what is expected for the fee, and what additional charges there are for (e.g.) DVDs, recordings, debrief reports etc.

3. It is okay to put a clause in a contract to the team building company, stating you can't tout your own business. It is also okay to trust the supplier!

4. If the supplier and client speak before hand, the event is going to be more successful; the supplier is likely to be a specialist and can advise; the event manager is often a 'sales person'.

In my case, a 2 1/2 hour team building event - that has taken two days with preparation and the wretched DVDs that I've had to edit, master, copy etc. will be avoided in future - or at least I will be paid extra for this additional work. Otherwise, I won't accept the work.

Apologies: I'm sounding very stroppy and this isn't intended to be a rant - but I just want others to avoid any problems!

Give the man a hug!

Last week I was at the inspirational Enterprising Women conference. As well as meeting a number of wonderful business women I was able to catch up with old acquaintances. One of the key discussions was "Our Men" - or more accurately complaining about "Our Men".

One lady was horrified when her husband brought home a labrador puppy for the children - without consulting her. Another could only communicate with her husband by TEXT message - even when he was at home.

Today I heard that my son's friend's Dad died suddenly in the afternoon. His lovely wife Annabel won't be able to grumble about him. His children won't be able to play football with him, or have a piggy back. They won't have their Dad being Father Christmas or driving them to parties when they are in their teens. He won't watch them receiving their degrees.

I'm so lucky; I can hug my husband tonight, and even if he annoys me sometimes (occasionally), he's still here in our lives. So - hug a man or woman tonight - and count yourself lucky!

My very best wishes and thoughts go to Annabel, Javier and Pia.

The curse of the answerphone message!

Recently, I have been contacting a variety of organisations and companies. On a number of occasions I have been confronted by the dreaded answerphone! Now I understand that individual people aren't at their desks 100% of the time, but an answerphone can be the first contact a potential customer has with a company or service.

Answerphone messages varied from totally inaudible speaking, to messages that were so fast, one wondered whether the person was running out of the room as they recorded it! Other telephone numbers were largely inaudible and I did not receive much confidence in the companies' services.

There was even an accountancy company: with 20+ employees, that had an answerphone system that invited you to select 'speaking to an operator' as an option - only to be put through to - ANOTHER ANSWER PHONE!! In this case, the argument for a diversion service to a key person in the organisation, whilst the operator was busy, was quite a strong one. I certainly wouldn't bother about rephoning and I wouldn't bother to buy into their services.

There are a number of issues surrounding answerphone messages. Yes, companies need to have a number that people can contact them outside office hours. Individuals are not going to be at their desk for 100% of the time. However, any message a customer receives when they contact an individual or company should reflect positively on that company - otherwise the customer will be lost.

Key ways of ensuring your answerphone message is effective:

1. Speak clearly and slowly, pronouncing key words carefully.

2. Any other contact telephone numbers should re recited clearly and repeated to give the caller time to take the number down.

3. Take your time to compose yourself before leaving the message on the answerphone: a stressful person records a stressful message!

4. If you are leaving a message from your mobile phone, make sure you speak very clearly; if reception is not very good, this will be reflected in the recording.

5. Consider redirecting your personal number to a VA or a colleague to ensure the client receives a human/personal contact.

I think there is more blogging potential from this topic - including getting organisations and departments to take responsibility for answering calls effectively and also leaving answerphone messages more clearly! There will be more soon!

BBC Three Counties Radio Broadcast

I was invited into the BBC Three Counties Radio studio again today. This was to discuss current affairs with the wonderful Ernie Almond. I was accompanied by 2 of my musicians from NSN Productions Limited: one of whom performed at the end of the 2 hour broadcast.The session - which was long, was not scripted, but we were prompted by a few newspaper articles to discuss these topics. There was also an opportunity to discuss our music business.

Being the BBC, we were not allowed to advertise either our services or our website. However, if you are canny, you can quote your website quickly, before they can stop you! Obviously there is nothing worse than repeating the website or your telephone number, but the first rule of the media is that they are not going to prompt you for this information - so you need to be proactive!

If you would like to have coaching on appearing on TV or the radio - do give me a call. 0844 576 3015.

BBC Three Counties Radio Interview

I now have a recording of the interview I had with the wonderful Lorna Milton on Three Counties Radio. I have posted it onto the home page of the website: www.executivevoice.co.uk I have been invited back to follow the progress of Kelly Betts; I am currently coaching her and over a period of time we will be able to measure her progress. Kelly is a great client; she works hard and is picking up new skills all the time. She is an absolute pleasure to train!
I will keep you posted as to when I appear again.

Reading other people

We had a tremendous time at the Fielder Centre, Hatfield for the 'Make an Impact with Your Voice' workshop. The delegates discovered new aspects of their vocal and communication styles and how they could be more effective in a variety of business situations.

There were a number of very interesting discussions, but I am going to share one with you. A highly successful academic shared her frustration in communicating with an external member of her staff. The woman concerned closed her eyes, moved her head around and generally didn't connect with the academic. The workshop participants all interpreted this behaviour in different ways - was she nervous, disinterested, self absorbed,arrogant, vain, shy??

The academic - who interpreted the external staff member in the same way as me, was, understandably finding it difficult to have an engaging conversation with her. Obviously when you are speaking with someone that has profound mannerisms, you are going to react to these - and not necessarily in a positive way. We remember previous instances and people that have these mannerisms and if we are not careful, we can fall into the pattern of reacting to these memories.

Our aim is to be as an effective communicator as possible. Occasionally that is a real challenge, but in these situations, it is worthwhile taking a mental step backwards, neutralise the memories to say it is a new situation, and start again! We are as responsible for communication not working as much as the person we speak to, and if we can be open and friendly, the chances are that the conversation will be more successful.

Of course, there are going to be people we don't get on with, or who are impossible to communicate with - but let's try to give them the benefit of the doubt until you have tried a number of styles!

Three Counties Radio Broadcast

In case you missed Executive Voice's appearance on Three Counties Radio with the wonderful Lorna Milton, here is the link. It will only be up until Sunday 19th October.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/mainframe.shtml?http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/three.shtml

The experience was very positive and I will discuss working in a studio environment in a future blog. The constraints were not being able to move very far (6") from the microphone. I normally demonstrate by standing beside a client, but this wasn't possible. Lorna and Kelly were absolutely charming, and I hope to be invited in again (they did invite me!)

Hear Executive Voice on Three Counties Radio

I am appearing on Three Counties Radio on Monday 13th October - from 2pm until 2.20pm. The format will be that Lorna Milton, the presenter will interview me about my experience as a vocal and communications coach. There will then be an opportunity for listeners to call with specific queries regarding public speaking, speaking on the telephone, interviews etc.

I am really looking forward to the opportunity to explain what I do. If you have any questions - do let me know!

I will try to get a sound sample of the interview to put on here!

How do you say it?

Earlier this week I attended a charity evening "shop" at a mid-market ladies dress shop. It was a very pleasant evening with champagne, canapes, treatments from some charming girls, goodie bags and an opportunity to purchase at a 10% discount! I planned to buy some of my winter wardrobe there.
I was just looking at some dresses on a rail when a shop assistant barked at me "Move, I have a customer with me!" Somewhat stunned, I realised that she was actually speaking to me: a potential customer... I would have been horrified if one of my team, representing my company had spoken to anyone like that, and needless to say I left the evening very soon after, having not bought anything.
Yesterday I went to the Royal Albert Hall to see a concert. Unfortunately the lighting had been set so that our whole section had a blue or white light shining directly into our eyes. We all spent most of the first half covering our eyes, and needless to say, we could hardly see when the lights went up. I decided to find the front of house manager, to let him know of the situation and to request that new seats could be found. I was courteous, and he responded by being most helpful; he found us outstanding seats in the upper stalls, and arranged for everyone that wasn't in our party to also be re-seated. I left feeling very positive about the outcome and the service that the RAH provided.
The way we address people affects the outcome; I have no further plans to visit the dress shop again because I was treated appallingly, yet I will return to the RAH very soon. I am sure my request for seats would have been treated less positively had I approached the situation differently; front of house managers can find limited view seats when required...
When addressing strangers - in particular, it is a thought worth bearing in mind...

Last week I attended the most amazing concert at the BBC Proms. It was the Berlin Philharmonic orchestra: a world leader in orchestral terms, with Sir Simon Rattle conducting. What was so astonishing was the energy and commitment from very member of the orchestra. Despite any rivalry, egos or personal ambition, they worked as the ultimate team to produce sublime music.
Rattle led them in an impressive way; this was someone only using body language to communicate 100 people. Obviously they had practised the piece a number of times, and Rattle had been able to verbally communicate his intensions during the rehearsals, but changes in venue, the television lighting etc could have put the orchestra off..
Thinking about the whole process of performing: what made this performance - or outcome outstanding was a combination of world class musicians, preparation (rehearsal and Rattle knowing the piece, from memory, inside out) communication and a commitment to the outcome.
The target or outcome they had as a team was the performance; they were all committed to this, and also to maintaining their reputation.
What can we learn from this: create a clear target for your team; create ownership for the whole team; communicate your intentions; set a time scale and be properly prepared - with rehearsals (or the equivalent) if necessary.
If the Berlin Philharmonic can achieve outstanding results - so can you!

Earlier this week, my husband and I watched Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential candidate on television. She's one 'tough cookie' as my American cousins would no doubt say. She came across very positively, but there were two aspects of her delivery that, in my opinion, let me down. I'm being picky here because the current president is no master of delivery, but that's another story.

My husband shouted at the TV "She's squeaky; she's high!" When she spoke, her voice became higher pitched and squawky as she became more passionate. It then becomes more difficult to listen to. Men are not able to hear high pitched noises and voices clearly and will switch off. Anyone that has experienced a baby crying at night, and your husband does not awake knows exactly what I mean. If Ms Palin wants to deliver a powerful speech, she needs to address this, so that EVERYONE can hear her message.

The other point I noted was that her diction wasn't too hot. There are a variety of accents in the States, but I found it quite difficult comprehending and picking up everything she was saying.

Women in high profile positions do have to work harder at their presentation skills. Margaret Thatcher and Baroness Boothroyd, who had to deliver plenty of public speeches both consciously dropped their voices to a lower pitch, to make them more audible and an easier tone to listen to. Women have a tendency (myself included) to make their voices higher, and therefore screechy, when they are angry or getting more passionate about a topic. We therefore have to work hard to avoid this, to ensure our messages get across to the whole audience.

Perhaps Ms Palin needs some vocal coaching. Do give her my number.

Introductions

Welcome to the blog of Executive Voice - Vocal and Communications Training. This blog is dedicated to making the most of your speaking voice and body language: what a positive impact it can make in the workplace and in your general life.

I am sure you know someone who is brilliant at what they do, but doesn't present themselves in the best way possible. Throughout my life I've met people that are real stars, but fail to make the grade because they can't communicate their star quality. On the flip side, I'm sure you have also met people that you can't understand HOW they have been so successful - yet they have been brilliant at communicating.

I will be adding postings regularly, when I see, hear and experience good - and poor communication styles and trying to work out what works!

If you have any comments, do post them.

Susan