Children are being taught to 'speak better'

In the news yesterday was an article about school children learning to speak properly. As usual there were plenty of postings on the Telegraph - and particularly the Daily Mail websites, criticising parents, the Government and teachers. One post actually said that 'Most teachers were illiterate' (could I see the figures to prove this statement...)
There is a need to address the problem of children's lack of positive communication skills - and also that of society as a whole. One could argue that this ought to be the parents' responsibility, but since this is such a problem, they are clearly not doing this, so there needs to be a strategy for improving these skills.
By poor speech, I DO NOT mean regional accents - or indeed certain Public School accents that are incomprehensible, but speaking where grammatically the language is WRONG, and also the use of slang and phrases like "Oh - My - God" - which personally I find offensive and sloppy. There is a way to speak and communicate with your friends and peers: another when you are at work.

To me there are a couple of crucial points about current communication styles. One is that there are many more people who are 'voices' in the media, who have poor communication skills: in particular grammar and pronunciation. Celebrities, footballers etc. This gives the appearance of 'being the norm', when in fact they are dreadful. These people are role models for a lot of children and of course they mimic and believe this is totally acceptable. Not only are their speaking styles sloppy, but they use poor English.
Also, it is important for young people - everyone infact, to be able to recognise what type of speech is appropriate for different situations. I delivered some training to a company where the lovely employees were 'over friendly' and 'familiar' with their use of speech with clients. Clients were being put off by this. When the employees realised that there is an appropriate language style for clients and a different one for friends, the communication effectiveness in the office increased.
Rather like we wear work and 'home' clothes, we should adopt 'work' and 'home' speech.
Here is the article>
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/primaryeducation/5227625/Children-to-be-taught-how-to-speak-properly.html

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Preparation includes remembering your trousers

Over the weekend I am sure you read the faut pas the great International Opera Singer, Bryn Terfel did which created some 'titters' in the press. I have put a link through to the article below.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/5140272/Bryn-Terfels-night-at-the-opera-with-no-trousers.html

Bryn Terfel has been performing at an international level for over 15 years. He is highly respected, is a great colleague and a number of my ex-colleagues either know him or have worked with him, and do not have a negative word to say about him. He is a great singer, colleague and friend.

BUT, I was just rather surprised that he arrived at the venue of the concert quite late - there was no opportunity to go back to the hotel to collect his trousers, or to instruct either an assistant to do so. Presumably he had a run through in the afternoon, to check the balances, the venue etc. Normally artistes take their clothes at that point - to prevent any such error. They can go back to the hotel between the rehearsal and performance to collect anything they've forgotten. As a student I worked backstage at Symphony Hall in Birmingham, looking after the International Artistes such as Jose Carreras, Jesse Norman, Monserrat Caballe etc. This is what they did. They also had assistants who were available to go back to the hotel. Clothing was always put into their dressing room at the rehearsal time!

So what can we learn from this to prevent a "Bryn" occurring. Well, I don't want to preach: I do mention this to my clients regularly but...

• Arrive early. If there are problems such as something forgotten, there will be time to go back and get it.
• Have a checklist of what you need to take. Include everything from business cards to what you will wear. Check the checklist as you pack.
• Don't be tempted to skip the 'rehearsal time' at the venue. Not only does this provide valuable experience of learning the venue's characteristics, it could also alert you to anything you've forgotten.
• It is easy to blame your assistant for not packing something. In the theatre world, the buck stops at you - so check yourself!

Good luck. More information on our services is at http://www.executivevoice.co.uk

Is speech a class issue

Last week I read the article pasted below.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/jemima-lewis/5067157/A-childs-speech-is-still-a-class-issue.html

To summarise, the writer concerned had an 'RP' accent and this was regularly commented on by taxi drivers. "You're well educated Madam" etc. Her argument was that she wasn't well educated but because of her accent, other people felt she was more intelligent, and for children it could be a huge advantage in the workplace/interviews if you had an RP accent.

Yesterday I was at an FSB meeting, and I had a conversation with the chairman, Robin about this very same topic - but also to include more general communication like TEXT messages, phone calls, emails and letters. Robin has run a successful business for over 20 years and his opinion, in my opinion, is a valid one. He goes out of his way to ensure all of his Text messages have complete words with correct spellings and punctuation: ditto emails. He expects this from his staff when they communciate with clients and that they take particular care with their speech to ensure it is clear, with a lack of slang and 'lazy' speech.

What is Robin like? Robin is a hard working MD, who speaks with a Southern accent NOT an 'RP' accent. He is articulate and also listens to people when you are conversing. He values good manners: clear speech: clear communication and writing because it matters.

For some Telegraph readers, and might I say some products and parents of children at private schools, it can be an easy trap to fall into: that of thinking that a 'Public School' accent can open doors. Undoubtedly a clear accent is a positive, and if you have something intelligent to say - even better! But there are some 'Public School' accents as incomprehensible as the Brummie accent!

It is also worthwhile considering that an RP or Public School accent is ridiculed in some areas of UK (notably The North) and softening the accent is a good move!

My advice would be as follows:
Speak clearly, ensuring you are not lazy with ends of words.
Make sure you are grammatically correct. The wonderful Hertfordshire "I brang" wins no prizes for creating a good impression.
Be aware of when TEXT speak is appropriate, and when not. As a general rule, TEXT speak is fine for your friends but not colleagues, bosses and clients.
Although emails are shorter, don't be fooled into thinking that standards in English are lower: still be grammatically correct and only use 'slang' words when the other person has used them first. Of course this is for work related emails - for your friends it is different.

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Giving praise that makes an impact

I have been watching the 'Sissinghurst' programme on BBC4. It is a documentary where the 'Donor Family' are trying to encourage the National Trust to adopt some new projects at Sissinghurst including growing more produce to use in the cafe kitchens.
I am aware that editing could produce a biased view on personalities and situations; there are some editorial minxes in the business! BUT there were a number of issues that resulted from poor communication on both the side of the Nicolsons (Vita Sackville West's Grandson Adam, and his wife the gardener Sarah Raven) and the National Trust.
I will have to produce a number of blogs on this topic, because there is SO much to say! I am going to focus on one incident today, that couldn't possibly have been edited.
This involves Ms Raven and the chef at the restaurant, Steve. They clearly don't get on! Sarah had been brought in by the NT as a food consultant and through her own particular 'style' of consulting, managed to put every one's back up. (As I mentioned, this will be covered in another blog).
Finally, after a number of painful months, Sarah ate in the restaurant and liked the food. She marched round to the kitchen where Steve was eating his lunch after his shift. Steve had recreated one of Sarah's recipes. Ms Raven said that it was good and tasty, BUT that it needed more nutmeg. Steve, I feel behaved impeccably - particularly given that he was starving after a long shift and wanted to eat his lunch.
However, SR did not once engage Steve: she did not have any eye contact with him and appeared to be 'praising' her recipe rather than his cooking abilities. She also didn't once look at him; it was as though it was begrudging praise. She then said "It was good" with her back to Steve as she flounced out. I would have done a '2 finger salute' at her, had I been Steve, and no doubt it did nothing to build up morale and bridges.
So how would I have delivered praise differently:

• Realise that whilst a chef was eating his lunch, it might not be the best time to chat. Ask him if it was a good time to chat.
• Rather than stand above him - as though he was a subordinate or naughty boy, I would sit down, to be on the same level.
• I would maintain eye contact.
• Be sincere, praising him and his team "Well Done" "Excellent".
• Encourage him to contribute to any criticism and for his views to be valued.
• Mention my own particular taste for more nutmeg "It could have tasted even better if there was more nutmeg"
• Praise again and refer to how far the project has moved forward.
• Maintain eye contact before leaving.

First Impressions

Last week I had a meeting with one of my NSN Clients www.nsn-productions.com The clients were from a highly regarded Luxury Hotel where we had provided the entertainment over the Christmas Season. The clients were thrilled with our service and the quality of entertainment my team delivered. However, the operations manager said to me; "The ****** band were really good, but there was something not quite up to scratch....". On quizzing her further, she shared a nugget of gold with me: they didn't present themselves well in her opinion. She then elaborated by saying that the first impressions she had of the band were negative; one or two of them (the sound engineers) were quite scruffy, and they appeared cocky and laid back when they arrived at the venue. She expected them to raise their game to meet the expectation of the clients of a Five Star Hotel. The other musicians were all charming, well presented and, well, showed up this band!
The other manager said that he was really surprised because normally our musicians present themselves so well; they want to be part of the team at the hotel: dress well: are polite to everyone and will 'Have a chat' with a client if they wish to discuss things. He no longer used musicians from another agency because they appeared 'grumpy'.
This conversation made me consider further the idea of 'First impressions'. So much emphasis is put on your personal appearance, and I don't disagree that this is very important. The client, however, had mentioned that the band were cocky and laid back and that they like entertainers that will engage with the clients.
From a vocal and communications perspective, these are key 'presentation' areas we should be aware of, when making first impressions.

• Impressions are made from when you arrive at a venue, not when you meet the person you have arranged to meet. Be polite to everyone!
• Impressions are made when you arrange to meet someone new by telephone or even email; ensure you are making a 'good' impression when doing these.
• The first impression a client might have of your business is hearing your answer phone message; listen to it with an open mind. Does it reflect well for your company? If not change it!
• How you answer the phone will force a new client to make an opinion of your company. If you are busy - don't answer the phone - it will come across. Consider how you and your colleagues answer the phone.
• Check websites, emails and letters for 'typos'. Personally, I don't believe spelling mistakes and 'Text' writing reflect well on a person or a company. Of course I could be old fashioned!
• My friend Anna swears by expensive envelopes and first class stamps to create a good impression. Her philosophy is that a second class stamp indicates that the receiver isn't important enough for a first class stamp.

I had a meeting with the manager of the band. We both felt this feedback was invaluable for her band. They hadn't grasped the importance of presentation from when they arrived. Like many people, they believed the impression would be made when they delivered their act. They are now reviewing their whole presentation, from what the sound engineers wear, to a smart wardrobe of clothes for band members when they arrive and before they change into their stage clothes. In addition, they are purchasing long dresses for the ladies and DJs for the men. This is an opportunity for them to aim high and present themselves as a class act. I'm pleased to say they're grasping this concept as a new opportunity!
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Women's success in business

There is more coverage of women's success in business and how highly intelligent women are under represented at top levels of business. Please see the attached.

http://tinyurl.com/dhjaym

I am a fully paid up member of the Feminists' movement: I was educated in the 1970s and 80s. I am fully committed to supporting women getting to the top, but also recognise there are similar traits with some men who are also brilliant not achieving the highest echelons of their chosen profession.

In the next few weeks I'm going concentrating on some key skills we need to acquire in order to move up the ladder and achieve the level we want to be at.

Do remember though - not everyone wishes to be a senior manager/director etc. There is always choice!

Don't lose it, use it

A few weeks ago, I blogged suggesting people were 'nice' to each other. This provoked a response from some of my readers. As you know I come from a working environment where 'High emotional levels' are a requirement. People have tantrums/shout and scream etc for effect as much as anything. So in another environment I believe that this isn't the most effective method of getting results.

However, I have just read the following article: http://tinyurl.com/d68y42

This states that it is GOOD to show emotion (I would agree) and also to show anger. To an extent I agree, BUT I have two reservations.

1. If you 'lose it' by getting really angry - you have no where to go emotionally and also you lose control and possibly say things you regret later.
2. There are occasions when 'showing your cards' or emotions can be a negative point (think of negotiating for a salary rise).

As with all emotions and communication styles, be very clear about what your desired outcomes are. If you are wanting to establish a relationship - losing your temper isn't a positive option, but if as a last resort you have to change someone's behaviour or attitude, it could be used - but be careful not to go into a blind rage.

You have been warned!